With Roy Hodgson set to be named as the new manager of the England mens national football team, a lot of news outlets immediately went to rent-a-quote dog-financier Harry Redknapp for his reaction, some in the seeming belief that it was he who should have been approached by the FA. His reaction largely involved the phrases "triffic", "I like the boy, but he's not my player" and, bizarrely, "I don't hold grudges".
Instead of going to that particular irrelevant opinion, we sought out some other completely disinterested parties for their reaction to the news of Hodgson's appointment.
Philosopher Alain de Botton said that Hodgson is a man who "won't get sucked into that staus anxiety. He's not a man who worries too much about what others think of him; he and he alone will determine whether he thinks he's been a success. This will undoubtedly be beneficial with the rabid English press waiting to stick the boot in". De Botton continued, saying "Hodgson's subscription to Epicurean theories of scientific observation allows him to make dispassionate comparisons of the talent at his disposal. That sounds like bad news for Matthew Upson if you ask me."
Former secretary general of the United Nations Javier Pérez de Cuéllar praised Hodgson's grasp of multiple languages, reckoning that "it shows he's able to be diplomatic and sensitive to the concerns of others". During his time with the UN, de Cuéllar had to deal with the Falklands War, Namibian independence, the separation of Cyprus and the conflict in the Western Sahara. "My ability to communicate across language and cultural barriers helped me tread delicately over dangerous ground. Hodgson has that ability also. This is a good appointment".
Finally, we asked long-dead economist John Maynard Keynes and he told us "it's clear that Hodgson applies my economic theories into football management. I suggest that individual micro-economic decisions that may seem rational in themselves can lead to inefficiency at macro-economic level and I believe that's as true in football as it is in global economic structures. Hodgson strikes me as someone who can take that macro overview and ensure that decisions taken lower down the tree do not interfere with the overall vision". Keynes went on to say "English football can be said to have been in a long-term recession - a depression even - and only this ability to micro-manage at the bottom level without distorting the overall vision is going to get them out of it. Economically speaking, this is exactly the right move".
Kim Kardashian was unavailable for comment, but is said to not hold a grudge.
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