With the warm weather forecast to extend throughout the weekend, Britons are expected to go fucking mental.
The hot weather will see pasty-white people trying to get burned to a crisp by the rarely-seen burning disc in the sky - known to other nations as 'the sun' - by shedding a lot of clothes and not preparing properly.
Many will be try to get food poisoning by eating half-cooked chicken off the barbecue prepared by someone far too pissed for the job while others will bypass the potential of burning their homes and gardens down by skipping the food element and just getting absolutely pissed, like a warm version of New Years.
Health and safety campaigners have urged caution from the populace, encouraging them to only go fucking mental in moderation.
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