Net migration to the UK dropped in the year to September, according to figures released by the National Audit Office, but only by 3,000 with the overall number remaining over 250,000.
The government have targeted a reduction to 100,00 per year by the end of this parliament in 2015, a target that now looks as far away as ever, but welcomed the drop however small it may have been. "The fact that there has been a reduction is positive", a junior Home Office official told us, "but such a small drop is disappointing".
Pressed to explain why this oft-stated target is unlikely to be met, he continued, saying "we've made life as miserable for people all throughout the nation, so we're very surprised that emigration was only 348,000 for the recorded period. Rest assured that what we're planning on doing in the near future will piss off a far greater number of people such that they'll soon decide that their future lies overseas. Phase 2 of the plan is for those emigrants to constantly piss and moan about the shitstorm they've left behind and then none of those bloody foreigners will want to come here in the first place. Job done."
Student visas were down 62% for the first three months of this year compared to the same period last year, something immigration minister Damian Green was quick to seize on. "This shows that us stopping paying for education can have a big impact on numbers coming into the UK from outside. Wait until they get to hear about what we're doing with the health system and employment law. They'll soon think twice and go somewhere nice instead", he xenophobed.
Anti-immigration thinktank Migration Watch UK said that the government needed to take "tough measures" to tackle the "unnacceptable" figures. "Urgh, foreigners", said their chairman Sir Andrew Green.
No comments:
Post a Comment