Foreign secretary makes desperate bid for attention

Political non-entity Philip Hammond today attempted to remind the populous that he both exists and holds a senior Cabinet position by echoing Enoch Powell.

Despots stunned as UK electorate votes to get rid of human rights

Despots from around the world have expressed shock as the UK electorate vote for the one party that wishes to scrap their human rights in an open and free election.

The forgotten victims of the coalition: the tax disc holder makers

The jobless, the disabled, the young: these are the faces of the victims of the brutal assault on social security by the coalition government. But the extent of austerity is felt much wider across society and it's taken until now for government policy to hit home to certain sections.
This week, we highlight an entire industry facing closure with thousands of jobs set to go with no sign of anything to replace them.

The REAL 50 things every man should know

The appearance of a list of things that all men should know has inevitably produced a number of counter-argued lists that, perhaps correctly, pointed out what a bland, beige, Coldplay existence the original author must live. Then those counter-argued lists started attracting counter-argued counter-arguments and as News Arse's mens editor likes a bandwagon as much as the next columnist, here's why all those other lists of 50 things every man should know are wrong and why these are the REAL 50 things every man should know.

TV election debates to include 'entire-voting age public'

After arguments about who should and should not be invited to the TV election debates, broadcasters have drawn up a plan that will see every member of the voting-age public of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland invited to participate.

American football fans admit 'we don't know what XLIX means'

As yesterday's Conference championship games fade into the memory and focus shifts to the Superbowl in a fortnight's time in Phoenix, fans of American football across the world have begun to admit that they don't know what XLIX means.

Wanton killing 'harms message' - report

A report released today by the centre-left thinktank the Institute of Stating The Bleeding Obvious suggests that killing people 'harms the message' that the perpetrators are attempting to get across.

Muhammad: I didn't realise I needed avenging

The prophet Muhammad today broke his silence following the murder of staff at French satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo earlier this week where twelve people were gunned down in his name. The prophet shook off the handicap of being dead for 1500 years to grant us an exclusive interview.