TV election debates to include 'entire-voting age public'

After arguments about who should and should not be invited to the TV election debates, broadcasters have drawn up a plan that will see every member of the voting-age public of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland invited to participate.

American football fans admit 'we don't know what XLIX means'

As yesterday's Conference championship games fade into the memory and focus shifts to the Superbowl in a fortnight's time in Phoenix, fans of American football across the world have begun to admit that they don't know what XLIX means.

Wanton killing 'harms message' - report

A report released today by the centre-left thinktank the Institute of Stating The Bleeding Obvious suggests that killing people 'harms the message' that the perpetrators are attempting to get across.

Muhammad: I didn't realise I needed avenging

The prophet Muhammad today broke his silence following the murder of staff at French satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo earlier this week where twelve people were gunned down in his name. The prophet shook off the handicap of being dead for 1500 years to grant us an exclusive interview.