The UK media suddnely became interested in the controersial drilling technique of hydraulic fracturing when they realised collectively that the more common name for the technique - fracking - sounds a bit rude.
"There's all this technical stuff about high pressure water jets creating fissures in rock and causing earth tremors, highly carcinogenic chemicals pumped in to release gas, pollution of aquifers, pollution of the air, the extreme pressure on water resources at a time when half the country is officially in drought and blahdy blahdy blah, but that's really tedious" a newspaper industry insider told us, "but then someone said that they called this process 'fracking' and we thought 'that sounds a bit like fucking' and figured our readers would be interested in that".
Headlines began to crop up the morning after a government commissioned scientific report was released appearing to back the expansion of the technique to release gas in shale rock which, it is estimated, could sate UK demand for many decades, perhaps up to 100 years. The Guardian went with "This is the fracking truth", "Fracking bonanza" was the FT's verdict while the cartoon in the Independent went with "It's not the fracking drilling... It's your fracking budget". The Daily Hate went with "Frack off", the Knee-Jerker with "You must be fracking crazy" and The Express with "Did fracking cause the death of Princess Diana?".
"Basically", said our mole, "it's a lot of pent-up frustration at not being able to put 'fuck' on the front page and this has given Fleet Street some much-needed relief".
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