Thursday 5 January 2012

Princess unveils list of charities

The Duchess of Cambridge today unveiled the charities to which republicans will no longer be donating to.

The former Kate Middleton stymied the chances of the Scout Association, Action On Addiction and the National Portrait Gallery's chances of ever raising funds from people who can't quite understand why such an outdated and anachronistic concept such as royalty exists so deep into the 21st century.

The Art Room and East Anglia's Children Hospices are also expected to see donations from rational human beings drop. Leading campaigner against retention of a feudal system, Oz Trailier, said "well if these places are getting money from the royals, then we're kind of already paying for it anyway aren't we, so bugger it". The opposite view came from flag-waving idiot Pat Riotism who said "oh, she looked so lovely at the wedding didn't she? Makes you proud to be British".

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