Friday 16 March 2012

Osborne offers hope to beleaguered wealthy

With the Budget around the corner, Chancellor George Osborne today offered hope to the beleaguered wealthy with a hint that the top rate of income tax - currently 50p in the pound - is to be cut to 40.

Answering claims that this is an unfunded tax cut, Osborne retorted by pointing out the many areas that spending has fallen in order to pay for it. "By cutting funds from luxuries like libraries, schools, hospitals and the poor, we can make this gesture to those that have, so far, borne the brunt of the burden of generating extra tax revenues in difficult times".

"It's not a question of penalising those at the bottom end", continued the man somehow entrusted with the public purse, "more a case of rewarding those that have contributed to the success of the British economy as it slides towards another recession. However, if we can give the poor a good kicking while we're at it, so much the better. After all, we are the Conservative party and that is what we presume we weren't quite elected to do".

"We are all in this together", the Chancellor said before adding "but some of us are in it more than others".

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