Thursday 8 March 2012

Government hails boom in repossessions industry

The government today announced that repossessions rose 14% last year in a massive boost to the bailiff and soup kitchen industries.

"Our policies have contributed directly to these fantastic figures", said a government spokesman, "and the opposition sit there and completely fail to recognise the important steps we've taken to reverse the decline they presided over and restore this vital sector of the economy to health".

Asked by our reporter whether he had considered that this boom resulted in over 48,000 households classed as homeless, housing minister Grant Shapps said "I'm glad you asked me that" before going on to talk about something completely different.

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