The REAL 50 things every man should know

The appearance of a list of things that all men should know has inevitably produced a number of counter-argued lists that, perhaps correctly, pointed out what a bland, beige, Coldplay existence the original author must live. Then those counter-argued lists started attracting counter-argued counter-arguments and as News Arse's mens editor likes a bandwagon as much as the next columnist, here's why all those other lists of 50 things every man should know are wrong and why these are the REAL 50 things every man should know.